


Compatibility: Or How Leslie Got Ann to Go Out on a Date

by noblealice



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Female Friendship, Gen, Yuletide 2009
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-21
Updated: 2009-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-04 22:27:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noblealice/pseuds/noblealice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ann shows up at Leslie's office for lunch and is met with a surprise. Leslie/Ann. Post 2x12 'Christmas Scandal'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Compatibility: Or How Leslie Got Ann to Go Out on a Date

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Michelle K (michellek)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/michellek/gifts).



> Thank you to my super-speedy beta Shelagh who put up with my wild tense changes. Any remaining mistakes are my own.

As a nurse, Ann is used to being taken for granted and passed over. It's ridiculous; she's administered a thousand IV's yet still has to smile graciously when Mrs. Arnold asks for a _real_ doctor to perform hers. Never mind that Dr. Simmons probably hasn't given an IV since he was required to do so in his residency.

Most of her standard patients are grumpy from having been in the hospital for an extended period and aren't as easy to manipulate. They've forgotten how to be polite.

At the Parks department, they treat her with something like respect and that was even before she performed the Heimlich manoeuvre when Jerry choked on a fish bone.

She looks at her watch and thinks she could still make it over in time to visit Leslie for lunch. Leslie _has_ been promising her an update about the zoning board's decision sometime this week, so Ann makes up her mind and finishes reading the rest the story book to Harinder a bit faster than she normally would.

As she walks through the myriad hallways of City Hall, she reflects how she got herself into this mess with her neighbouring sinkhole. It's not that she's stupid or decidedly unlucky. Sure, she has questionable taste in men, but she's not the type of person who buys a house next to a pit. No-one would _consciously_ decide 'Hey, know what would be nice? Having to defend my garbage bins against rabid racoons every night! Oh, and the smell of rotting food wafting into my kitchen window from the giant pit next door would be a great bonus!'

Besides, it's not like she could have afforded a house on her own, even in this housing market. She inherited the house when her parents retired and moved to a retirement complex in Florida.

She also inherited her mother's need to please people and her father's sense of humour. There are days when she is more thankful for one trait over the other, especially when she gets so tired and frustrated she has to laugh to keep from crying. Whenever she's feeling particularly over-worked she knows that it's time for a reality check with Leslie. It reminds her that the daily drama of the hospital staff is not important in the big scheme of things. Not when compared to the glamour and prestige of politics and government.

It's with this thought that Ann turns the corner and enters the door to Leslie's office and has to clap a hand over her mouth at the outrageous sight of Leslie in nothing but her bra, flapping her arms. April is there with a box of tissues, trying to stay in the corner.

Ann quickly closes the door.

"What's going on?" She asks and quickly takes in that the floor of Leslie's office is covered with a dozen black heels and lots of different shades of blue fabric.

"Thank goodness you're here! I called you at the hospital but since I couldn't tell them honestly if anything was broken or bleeding they wouldn't let me leave you an emergency message."

Ann mentally thanked Roberta the receptionist and made a note to buy her the tabloid magazines she liked.

"Ann, it's the zoning commissioner. I think we have a date tonight and it's stressing me out. When I get stressed I sweat. When I sweat, I get pit stains and I don't have time to model my clothes for Tom a second time today."

"Okay, calm down. You're going to be fine." Ann crossed to the windows and closed the blinds; hoping no-one had seen Leslie without her shirt.

"Why are you going out with this guy if you're getting this worked up about it? Just call and cancel." Ann knew how hard Leslie had taken her break-up from Dave and thought she should take some time for herself before dating again. If she was being honest, she had selfishly hoped for a lot of girl-time from Leslie this holiday season to distract her from her parent's not visiting.

"It's not a regular date, Ann. You're so pretty that men probably just do what you want when you ask but regular women like April and I have to work for it."

Leslie didn't seem to notice the glare April shot in her direction.

"I mentioned that I'd be meeting with the commissioner tonight and Ron knows this guy, Ann. He's divorced and lonely. Ron thinks I should sleep with him to get the motion passed next week."

"What? Leslie you can't be seriously considering going through with this. That is so unlike you."

"That's what I thought but my Mom came by and she thought it was 'a very proactive way to accomplish my goals' and who knows me better than my own mother?"

"Leslie, listen to me. You can't do this. You'll feel sick with guilt the whole evening."

"I _know_." Leslie whined, elongating her vowels like a petulant child. "I thought of that but everyone is the department is supportive. They want this decision over and done with."

"Plus, I think Donna is being blackmailed by someone else on the committee!" Leslie mock-whispered and April's eyebrows shot up with the first sign of interest Ann had seen since she'd arrived.

Leslie forcibly grabbed two tissues from the box, stuffed them in her armpits and crossed her arms with a pout. "Tom was supportive of this." She said it like an accusation and Ann was tempted to roll her eyes.

"Of course he was; he has the morals of a toad." Ann reasoned, wishing Tom were there so she could lash out at him.

"Leslie, please. Be rational. Remember when you wouldn't let that Congressman bully you? It showed a lot of backbone. I was so proud of you that day. Reach inside to find my best friend. I know she's in there."

"Wait, are you saying that I should wear a backless dress? Because I don't think I have any bras for that." Leslie starting looking around the room again, distracted.

"No. I'm saying that you tell this zoning guy to stick it up his ass. I wish I could go and tell him what I think of men who take advantage of their power."

All of a sudden, Leslie twirled about, her pout transformed into a radiant smile. "I know! _You_ could go on this date for me!"

"Don't you think he knows what you look like? You know, since you set up the meeting and all?"

"Oh, right."

"Surely you can think of another excuse not to go, Leslie. The lot isn't worth you prostituting yourself out."

"That's it, Ann! You're a genius! I knew you had more than your looks." Ann sent Leslie a half-smile, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

"April, call up your boyfriend and his boyfriend. We need advice on being gay."

April shuffled out of the room without comment, her fingers already texting quickly.

"What is that about?"Ann hesitantly asked, a little afraid of the answer.

"Oh, it's just something Wendy said." Leslie hedged.

It was times like these that Ann felt like she was back in the children's ward, dealing with a stubborn kid. "What did she say, Leslie." Ann prompted slowly.

"Well, she knew that you were gay because Tom told her—"

"_Ridiculous_! You turn down a guy and suddenly he spreads the rumour that you're a lesbian!"

"—and she said she thought that how I handled myself during the penguin scandal was admirable. She told me that it was great to see a public official standing up for what they believe in and not caring what people think."

"But you always care what people think!" Ann replied.

"That's exactly what I told her," Leslie crowed, "see how compatible we are?"

"This is insane. I need to sit down." She needed space. What she wanted was to call her mother, or maybe crawl into her nice soft quilt at home. As she sat down in Leslie's chair, hundreds of tiny comments that had sounded strange to her flew through her head and settled into place, suddenly making sense.

"Does the whole department think I'm gay?" Ann asked a minute later, still a bit shell-shocked.

"Well, clearly Mark doesn't." Leslie replied from under Tom's desk, where she was looking for a matching shoe.

"This is too much, Leslie. I have to get back to work." Ann scrubbed her hands over her face. This was not the calm lunch hour she had intended.

"When is your shift over? I need to know when to pick my girl up."

"Leslie, you can't be serious. It's insulting."

"Look, he can't expect sexual favours from me if I bring my lesbian life partner, right?"

Two minutes into their fake-relationship and already they were life-partners. Even for Ann, who prided herself on her ability to commit, this felt a little too fast. As it did every time Leslie managed to drag her into these types of messes, her head began to pound and her chest felt like a giant weight was on it. It wasn't the stress, but the chaos. She liked things to be organized and neat. With Leslie, things had a habit of getting way too messy.

Ann knew she had to get out and back to the clean hospital so she stood up and quickly crossed the room to the door. She didn't know how, but Leslie was there first, staring at her with wide, doe eyes.

"I need you, Ann."

And there they were; the magic words that were so intoxicating and annoying. As someone who lived to help and nurture people, they were her weakness and Leslie knew it.

Ann's shoulders hunched, her eyes closed and she bit her lower lip in defeat. She was going to regret this tomorrow. However, right now she had a problem that needed a solution and a friend in trouble that needed direction. There was no reason not to do something all out if you've got to do it, right?

When she opened her eyes again her mind was made up.

"Wear the low cut teal sweater. It brings out the sparkle in your eyes and will showcase the necklace I bought you for Christmas. Pick me up at six thirty sharp at the hospital entrance and don't be late. Bring your things to talk to this commissioner and you're buying me a drink when we get there." Ann ordered. Her chest felt lighter already.

"Thanks, Ann." Leslie said.

"Just don't get any crazy ideas from April, this is just dinner." Ann called out behind her as she hefted her lunch bag over her shoulder and walked out, a smile on her face.


End file.
